The Engonga Sex Scandal And The Future Of Romantic Health: A Bit Of Scientific Understanding

Baltasar Engonga. Image credit: BBC

If men and women knew certain things about their sexual makeup, there would be less problems in marriages and therefore in the society. Instead of ranting, people should gain knowledge. For example, one study quoted by Medicinenet revealed that “women between 27 and 45 years old report the highest interest in sex and more sexual fantasies than women in other age groups”.

Research-found facts hardly lie. Go and check and you'd see that most, if not all the women who slept with Balthazar Ebang Engonga were within that age bracket. So, in these days when data runs everything, how can these facts help marriages and relationships?

First, instead of men and women trading blames - which is most of what I have seen on social media since the scandal broke out - men should learn how to satisfy their women and keep them wanting more of them than looking outside. For example, if your wife or partner is between 27 and 45 or thereabouts, you should take measures to make yourself the source for satisfying her deepest sexual fantasies.

These things are nature at play. They are the results of hormones interacting with environmental and cultural components of us. Therefore, as a popular saying goes, you can't cheat nature. You can only work with nature. You can't block a river's way, for example, without experiencing a major disaster. Instead, the better option is to channel the river's flow path. This analogy applies to managing sexual desires in men and women.

Happy enough, almost anything can be learned. It's a knowledge-driven era as they say. So, everyone should commit to getting any knowledge that can make their lives better.

Many researchers (including a female researcher Professor Sarah Hrdy of the University of California, Davis) now scoff at the idea of women being natural monogamists. Yet, Oxytocin research generally suggest that women have more of the popular ‘cuddle hormone’ - making them more likely to stay sexually faithful to a mate.

Therefore, the job of keeping women faithful is easier for men than vice versa. The irony, however, is that if a man succeeds in getting his woman's innermost dispositions to turn towards him, there is also a natural reciprocal attitude: The man naturally craves his woman more, making him also less likely to look outside - especially realizing the many dangers in doing so.

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